Why am I struggling?!?

This is so hard!! Why can't I change?? I want to! I just can't stop eating!! Grrrrr!!!

This is so frustrating. I'm seriously eating a crunch bar while I'm typing this. I need a wake up call.

Every morning, I'm all like, "Ya! Let's do this!! I'm gonna eat healthy!" Then by lunch, it all goes down the drain.

I guess all I can do is keep trying.

Wish me luck!! (I need it bad.) :)

New Me Resolution

Merry Christmas!!

Well, now that that is out of the way, I can focus on the new and improved me! I'm not making a New Years Resolution. I can't wait until new year. I'm starting Now. This time of year is always hard for me. Family get togethers, Christmas breakfast and dinner and so much candy. Well, the time has come for change.

I made a little deal with my mom that I'm hoping will keep me on track and motivate me to lose the weight. I told her that if I lost 50 pounds by Dragon*Con (in September), that she would watch Liam for one night while we were there so I could go out and drink and party. I haven't done that since 2009. So as you can see, I'm a little desperate. Haha.

So, to start my New Me Resolution, I will be throwing out or giving my candy away. It is 8:53 pm and I will not be eating anything else tonight. After today, I will not let food pass my lips after 6:30 pm. I will start going back to Zumba at least once a week since I can afford it now. I will jog\walk\c25k at least 3 times a a week and doing the 30 Day Shred at least 3 days a week. I will drink water from the moment I wake up until my head hits the pillow at night. In order to fix my sleeping routine (1:30 am to 10 am), I will start going to bed sooner, starting tonight. After, I find a job, I will join a gym, if I can afford it haha. I'm making lots of changes and I'm so excited!!



OADN(On a different note), I am writing this on my new Google Nexus 7 tablet!! I love it!!



Any who, laters baby. (That's 50 shades talk in case you didn't know.) :)

Day 4

I'm 24!

Ya, my "lifestyle change" hasn't really taken affect yet. I didn't binge today! But I didn't exactly eat well. I did binge a little bit yesterday. Just a little bit. It was a mini binge.

I totes ate out for lunch and dinner but that's ok, because it's my birthday! :D And tomorrow is a brand new day!

If the world ends tomorrow, then I'll see ya on the flip side!

Day 2

I binged today. Not as bad as it could've been but I'm not proud of it.

Ya, I'm struggling. It's so hard. But I'm going to keep trying.

 What I don't understand is how people, who have never had a problem with weight, think that it should be so easy for us to lose weight. "Just work out more." "Just eat a few hundred less calories." Ya, if it were that easy, I'd have lost weight a long time ago. My sister for example sees no appeal in food. So jealous. And some people can eat and eat and eat and still be tiny. Lucky them. Unfortunately, I have a huge teensy tiny addiction to food. I constantly find myself in the kitchen. And I hate it. But I'm working on it. :)




In other news:

As I mentioned before, I am a sahm. I live with my parents who are very supportive but now that Liam is getting older and our house is becoming very crowded (6 peeps in 3 br house), I am wanting to get a full time job so Liam and I can move into our own place.

Another journey I am on, is my dental journey. I actually have an entire blog dedicated to this but everything has been on hold so I haven't undated in a really long time. Long story short, I have a really bad under bite which requires surgery but our [insert bad word here] insurance company will not cover it. Another reason for getting a job is for the dental insurance that will hopefully cover the surgery. I have had to get braces twice, which I am currently in but they are getting removed next month until the surgery can happen. I also need to get implants because I was born with a lot of missing teeth. So ya, its been a really stressful past couple of years.

Anywho, tomorrow will be a better day!

Day 1

Hi.

This is like my 5th blog. I seem to not be able to continue writing in the ones that I have because it felt like a chore but this time will be different. I have a feeling. :)

Don't get me wrong. I enjoy blogging, which is why I have 5 but I'm not a great writer. I'm doing this for myself. I want to document this journey. But if I inspire anyone along the way, awesome! :D

I'm on a mission to gain control. Of my life and my weight.

I've always been a happy person. I love life! But the one thing holding me back is my health. I love being active but my body can't keep up with my mind. And I'm determined to make a change!

So here goes...

My name is Kayleigh. I am about to turn 24. I am a single SAHM to a beautiful little boy.

I have always struggled with my weight. About a year ago, I discovered a blog that changed my life...for a little while. This girl had lost a ton of weight and it inspired to me to make a change. And I did. I lost 10 pounds like that. But my determination dwindled and I soon lost control...again. I have managed to keep 7-10 pounds off since then but it hasn't been easy. Every time I get determined again, it only lasts a short while. You have no idea how many times I felt like I have started over. I know I am ready this time.

I found an exercise that I love...Zumba! And I started going for a while but the class was twice a week at $5 a class. And it soon became really expensive. After I get a job following Christmas, I plan on strictly going back and also getting a gym membership.

Now for stats:

My current weight is 190. My goal weight is 135. But I will be ok with 140.
Bust: 40"
Waist: 42"
Arms: 15"
Thighs: 23 1/2"
Neck: 13 1/2"

I started the 30 Day Shred tonight. Tougher than I remember. But I will finish it this time.

Day 1 finished!!